Trigger Warning: If matters of faith trigger you easily, then you’ll want to skip reading this or at least replaces the references to faith within this post with the things that work best for you.
Hopelessness is serious. Every day people fall into the hopeless hole of hopelessness due to their struggle with a mental health issue. It begins to knock at the door of one’s heart when you feel and believe that you have no future. It happens so easily, and it can take root all too fast. Each time we face one of life’s interruptions, which change our perceived future, hopelessness can settle in and live rent free in our hearts and minds.
Over 20 years ago I faced a life-altering interruption. At the time I was pastoring one of the fastest growing churches in my denomination, when I experienced a painful manic episode and I was asked to resign. It was earth-shattering. My position and the church had become my identity and without them I was devastated to the point of complete hopelessness. I lost my future. Hopelessness set in. And the deep dark hole of depression became a familiar and shameful place of guilt. Months and months of severe depression followed.
For years before this interruption I’d felt as though I had a monster inside of me that I had to manage. The more stress I experienced with pastoring a growing church, the more impossible it was to control the monster within me. More times than not, the monster was controlling me. So, when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I found out that the monster had a name. And strangely enough, a small ray of hope began to break through the hopelessness what had swallowed me whole.
